Pools of Sorrow, Waves of Joy
by PinaNaranja
Summary: Bella and Edward have endured too many tragedies and traumas than anyone should have to. "Fear was part of my life now. It was inescapable. I hated that that one day, a mere twenty-four hours, had changed my life so completely forever."
1. Greet the Brand New Day

_**Pools of Sorrow, Waves of Joy**_

_**A/N:**__** Okay, so this is a fic that I thought up when I was procrastinating while writing **__**The Very Blackest Kind of Blasphemy**__**. The title is a reference to **_**The Beatles _song "Across the Universe." Each chapter title will be referring to a different Beatles song. I would like to give a HUGE thank you to _Elbereth Gilthoniel _who did a magnificent job beta-ing this for me! Thank you so much!_**

_**Standard Disclaimer applies. The very fact of this being on this particular website is evidence that I am not Stephenie Meyer. Also, I think that it is blatantly obvious that I do not own The Beatles. **_

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_**Chapter One: Greet the Brand Day**_

_Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?  
__  
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day_

_The sun is up, the sky is blue_

_It's beautiful and so are you_

_Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?_

_--"Dear Prudence"_

_**Bella**_

Fear was part of my life now. It was inescapable. The smallest noise, most insignificant object would set me off and remind me of that day — things like the ring of a cell phone or a knock on the door. It sickened me that such simple things could send me to the brink of a psychotic break down. I hated that that one day, a mere twenty**-**four hours, had changed my life so completely forever.

I could no longer be able to be alone without having a panic attack. I couldn't be around men without having flashbacks. I hated being touched. I hated being in darkness. I barely slept because of the nightmares. I could no longer speak. I changed in so many ways; I was surprised that Alice and Rosalie took care of as well as they did. They protected me from myself and the stimuli that set me off. They took me in when I had no one else to turn to, when I felt as if I could trust no one, least of all myself.

"Bella?" Alice asked me from outside my bedroom door. "I'm coming in, okay?" I sat up in my bad as she entered. She looked nervous. I reached for my notebook, my voice, which rested on the table by my bed.

_"What's wrong, Alice?" _I scrawled in my nearly illegible hand.

"Bella, there's a... problem, of sorts," Alice said, sitting next to me on the bed. "I need to ask you something**,** but I feel bad because I'm not sure if you'll think it will be good for you."

_"What are you talking about, Alice?" _I wrote swiftly.

"My brother's coming to town," she whispered. "He's coming to find a place to live, but he wants to stay here until he can. Bella, I'll tell him to find somewhere else to go if you don't think you can handle it. He'll understand. But, Bella, I swear to you he won't do anything to upset you. He'll be as careful as Rose and I, if not more so. He'll keep his distance and follow any rules you give him. Edward is the kindest, most considerate man there is. I'm leaving up to you, Bella. He'll understand either way."

I remained quiet, not writing a response, contemplating Alice's dilemma. Alice wanted me to let a _man _into the apartment. Brother or not, kind or not... it didn't _matter. _I would react the same way no matter what. If there was a man that was near me, I would be unable to stop the flashbacks. If I couldn't stop the flashbacks, I would be back to square one. Square one would mean ten months of work, ten months of progress, destroyed.

Yet, wasn't Rebecca always telling me I had to take a chance at some point? That at some point in time, if I truly wanted to be me again, I would have to face my fears and take control? I, for lack of a better word, talked to Rebecca three times a week. Since I was still unable to leave the apartment without having an episode, she would come here. She had been telling me for a month now that I was ready for the next step. I was scared, though. Was this really the next step? Was it too large of a leap to be an enclosed space alone with a man and Alice?

I didn't know. I wasn't even sure if I was ready to make that large of a leap. I didn't want to go backwards, but I didn't want to stay where I was either. I _needed _to move forward. I didn't want to be afraid anymore. Fear controlled my life, my very existence**,** and I was sickened to my very core.

I took a deep breath and wrote my response. _"He can come, Alice. Just be sure that he keeps his distance and talks quietly, okay?"_

I handed Alice the notebook**, **and she read my response and smiled widely. I knew that my no-touching rule was hard on Alice. Before everything had happened, she had hugged me exuberantly and uninhibitedly. I could tell that she wanted to do just that now, but I couldn't. It hurt that I couldn't hug my friend. Alice was like the big sister I never had. I loved her like she was my sister and it pained me that she had to go through pain because of me.

I smiled softly at Alice as she left the room. I sighed heavily and lay down, knowing I needed sleep. Sleep was even worse for me than being awake. When I was awake I didn't have to remember. When I was awake, only stimuli set me off. When I was sleeping, nightmares would haunt me.

_Darkness blanketed and choked me. I could hear his heavy breathing nearby but could not tell if he was nearby or not. I could hear my mother whimpering in pain somewhere close by. Warm liquid soaked my outstretched hands and I refused to acknowledge what it was or what it may be. My bound wrists ached from the tight bindings that encircled them._

_I could not suppress a gasp as I felt him cut the tape binding my ankles together. For a brief moment, false hope flashed through me. Was he releasing me? Would he free my mother? Could my father still be freed? Then the small flame of hope turned to icy terror._

_He pinned my hands above my head and moved between my legs._

_No._

_No, no, no, no, no!_

_I flailed wildly, struggling fruitlessly against his iron grip. "Get off me! Stop it!" I screamed loudly._

_"Bella!" my mother's voice was full of panic despite her own pain and weakness._

_I tried to scream again but I felt his free hand wrap around my throat. I choked and spluttered, trying to breathe. Spots flew across my visio__**n, **__and they were the only visible thing to me. I felt like I was turning numb. The only parts of my body that I could feel were my burning lungs and strangled throat. _

_Then the pressure disappeared. I was gasping for air desperately, trying to fill my lungs with the air they so urgently needed. My efforts were in vain when my breath left me as I felt the panic flood me once more. I could feel his hands at the button of my jeans. I brought my fists down, hoping to injure him in any way I could. He hissed in pain as my fists came in contact with what felt like his head but I still could not move. A second after I hit him, my hands were pinned above my head again. _

_I tried to scream, to call out, to make any kind of noise but could not. I heard someone calling my name but I could not pull myself away. I felt tears fall from my eyes as I tried to move, tried to do anything at all. Despair filled me. I would never get away. This was going to happen. I sobbed silently as I realized there was nothing I could do, that I was completely and utterly helpless._

* * *

_**Alice**_

I was happy. Beyond happy. I was ecstatic. Bella finally seemed to be ready to move on, if only just a little. She was finally taking a chance, making a physical effort to be herself again. For the past ten months, Bella had not left the apartment or seen anyone other than Rosalie, her therapist Rebecca, or me.

It still infuriated me, thinking of what happened to my friend. How could someone do that to Bella? Kind, sweet, selfless, loving Bella? She was the closest friend I had; she was the closest thing I had to a sister. After I got the call from the police, after they found Bella, I had wanted to hunt down whoever did that to her and kill him. She had been found by a family friend who had come to check on the Swans; they hadn't been answering their phone. They found her in the basement, hands tied together and bound to a shelf. All the light was blocked and her parents lay dead mere feet from her. The man had hurt her so badly and had just left her there. From what the police could tell, she had been left there for nearly a day. When I finally got to the hospital and saw her I was afraid that she was beyond repair. She had looked so broken, so vulnerable. I had never seen Bella like that before. It still pained me to think of it.

Now she was making a substantial effort to get better.

I knew that this would be good for her. I knew that _Edward _would be good for her and that Bella would be good for Edward. They were both so lost, hurting so much. I wanted to help them any way I could. If anyone could help Bella, it was Edward. My brother was one of the kindest souls I have ever met. I just _knew _that he would be able to help Bella. Seeing someone else hurting as much as he, even more so, would make him forget about Catherine, at least for a little while. I knew that this would be good for both of them. I just _knew_ it.

Feeling optimistic, I dialed Edward's number. "Hello?"

"Hello, Edward!" I sang happily.

"Hello, Alice." he chuckled. I smiled. It had been too long since I had spoken to Edward. "Did you speak to your friend?"

"Yes, I did. She said it was okay if you came." I said. Before he could say anything, I continued. "Edward, if you are going to come, you'll have to be careful. Bella's going through a lot right now. Last Christmas while she was visiting her parents there was a home invasion. The man killed her parents, raped her, and left her for dead. She's... for lack of better words, she is a complete and utter mess. You'll have to keep your distance and speak quietly. She can't speak, either; he damaged her vocal chords when he nearly strangled her. She... She's not herself anymore, Edward. I want to help her any way I can and I just... I know that you can help her. I know that if she was able to be in a male's presence for an extended period of time, it would boost her self-confidence and she would be able to move on more easily. I really think you can help her, Edward. Just... please be careful with her. She's my best friend. She's like my sister. I love her as much as I love you, Edward, and I wouldn't let you come if I didn't think it was best for Bella."

I needed him to understand. I needed him to know what coming here would mean.

"I understand, Alice." Edward told me in his subdued voice. "Do you really think I can help her? I don't even _know _her. I can barely help myself."

I sighed. It hurt me to hear my little brother in so much pain. "I know, Edward. I also know that if anyone can help her it's you and I think she'll be able to help you too." I was about to continue when I heard a loud thump. "Shit! Edward, I've got to go! I'll call you back later!" I hung up and rushed to Bella's room to see her struggling in her blankets on the floor. I flicked the light switch off and on a few times, knowing this was the easiest way to wake Bella. I could see that she was starting to come out of it, but I moved beside her and said her name softly to move the process along more quickly.

Suddenly, she shot upwards, her eyes wide and her mouth open in a silent scream. She was breathing heavily and her brown eyes were flitting around the room fearfully. She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and hiding her face from me. I tried to soothe her, but could tell that it was not working well.

"It's okay, Bella. You're safe. No one's going to hurt you." It took a while, but soon it looked to me as if she had some control. "Are you okay?" I asked quietly. She swallowed loudly and nodded as she reached for her notebook.

_"I'm fin__e,"_she wrote simply. _"I'm going to make some tea."_

I nodded, following her to the kitchen. I waited until she had put the teapot on the stove and sat at the counter. "I talked to my brother, Bella. He's willing to come and keep his distance. He understands what him coming here will mean and still wants to come." I paused and looked her in the eye. "He'll understand if you can't do this right now, Bella. I don't want you to agree because you think you have to. I don't want to hurt you."

I could see the conflict in Bella's eyes. I knew that she was afraid. She didn't want to have to start over again. She didn't want to only be able to sleep three hours a night or have to see her therapist nearly everyday of the week again. Yet, she also wanted to move forward. She wanted to get better. She wanted to be able to go out in public again. I couldn't tell which Bella would choose, however. I wasn't sure if her self-preservation would overpower her desire to heal.

After a few long minutes, Bella picked up her pen and wrote her answer. _"He can still come, Alice. I'll be okay as long as you told him to keep his distance and speak quietly." _

"I did, Bella. He'll be good, I promise." I couldn't help but feel hopeful when Bella's lips quirked upwards. It was the closest thing I had seen to a smile in far, far too long.

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**_A/N: Okay, so here is Chapter One! I hope you enjoyed it despite it's shortness! Constructive criticism welcome! YOu can give unconstructive criticism too, but more likely than not it will be ignored._**


	2. All the Lonely People

**_A/N: Okay, I can honestly say that I would have had this out sooner. Honest! I know, incredibly hard to believe, isn't it? Well, my computer had a spyware infection and everytime I tried to go into my documents and edit it, it would just give me a window that was one line and bunches of symbols I didn't recognize. So, here is the second chapter! I'm really sorry about the wait! Thanks to my reviewers!_**

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Chapter Two: All the Lonely People

_All the lonely people_

_Where do they all come from?_

_All the lonely people_

_Where do they all belong?_

_-- "Eleanor Rigby"_

_**Edward**_

I sighed heavily as I hung up the phone. Alice had just told me about her friend Bella and what happened to her. Why was the world such a horrible place? I felt bad that something so terrible had happened to a person, especially someone that Alice considered family. I knew that seeing her friend hurt so badly hurt my sister. Alice has always had the uncanny ability of being able to cheer someone up when they're down and it was probably hard for her that it took more work with Bella.

I was puzzled, however. For some reason Alice thought that I would be able to help Bella. I could not understand why because I was far from happy and whole myself. How could I possibly help her fried move past her trauma when I was incapable of doing the same thing? I could not help but wonder if this was a good idea or not. From what Alice said, her friend needed help. Alice suspected that _I _would be able to help her. What could I possibly do to help her?

And why would my older sister think that Bella would be able to help me as I would be able to help her? If Bella was so broken, so much so that Alice believed she was nearly beyond repair, how would she be able to help me?

I tried to stop my train of thought but the effort was futile. I began to think of Catherine. It was so painful, so debilitating, to think of her, to see her face in my mind and know that I would never see her again. To know that she was gone from me forever and it was entirely my fault. She had been by my side for so long I do not know what to do without her. For over a year now I have had to exist without her, to pretend that I'm living when I'm just going through the motions.

I stood angrily and left the hotel room. I could not wait until I was finally in someplace that would feel like home again. I knew that being with Alice would help and that she would help me find someplace to live. Most likely, she would furnish it and decorate it too. As I walked through the chilly October weather, I found myself thinking of the enigma known to me as Bella Swan. Alice had talked of her often before I lost Catherine. She would say that Bella was a lot like me. She enjoyed reading just as much as I did, if not more. She said that Bella could match me in my stubborn nature. She had said that Bella had a marvelous singing voice and loved all kinds of music like I did. After I lost Catherine, I didn't speak with Alice much. I was surprised when she stopped calling to check in on me after the first three months. Now I knew why. Four months after I lost Catherine, Bella lost her parents and was raped. I'm sure that Alice had her hands full trying to help Bella who was probably still suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. This would be the first time I would see Alice since Catherine died.

Inexplicably, I found that I wanted to help Bella even if I could not help myself. I could not understand this odd desire. I didn't know Bella at all. I had never met her, never _seen _her. Yet, I wanted to know her. I wanted to be able to help her and know the person she was now and the person she was before her parents died and she was hurt so badly. That is, if she could ever be that person again.

I groaned in frustration. Alice. This was all Alice's fault. She had planted a seed of curiosity in my head and it already grown into an annoying, undeniable urge. Despite my misgivings I had, I knew I would go gladly, if only to sate my curiosity.

_Don't forget, Edward. _That clichéd inner-voice told me. _Curiosity killed the cat._

_Yes, and satisfaction brought it back. _I rebuked to my inner-voice, feeling ridiculous.

* * *

_**Bella**_

I was sitting by the window and staring out at the sky that was steadily darkening. Stars began to glitter in the still light blue sky. The window was open and the wind whispered to me softly. The moon was just the barest hint of light, a mere sliver in the vast sky. I was nervous. Beyond nervous. It actually felt _good _to feel something other than fear and pain. I had talked to Rebecca today and she was optimistic about Edward's arrival.

* * *

_"So, Bella, anything new?" Rebecca asked me, her dark skin glowing in the sunlight shining through the window._

"Alice's brother is coming. I told her it was okay if he stayed her while Rose is gone, until he can find a place of his own." _I wrote swiftly, handing her the notebook._

_"Really, Bella? That's wonderful! How are you feeling about this? Why did you agree?"_

"I'm nervous and**…** apprehensive. I'm scared that it will ruin everything we've done. Everything that you've done to help me."

_I could see the confusion on her face as she read my words. "If you feel this way, then why did you agree? Alice would have understood."_

"I want to progress. I want to move forward and get better. I trust Alice and she told me that Edward is a good person. I think it will be easier for me if I can tolerate the company of a male before I try to go out in public again. If this goes well, I'll be that much closer to being normal, to being able to go outside again. I remember Alice telling me about Edward before. I think if there is any male I can trust at first, it will be him."

_"Everything is going to be all right, Bella. You're strong; stronger than any patient I've had who has gone through this before."_

* * *

It always amazed me that Rebecca had so much faith in me. I have been speaking to her for nine months and still could not leave the apartment. Rebecca had to come _here _so we could talk. It bothered me greatly that I have more or less become agoraphobic. In fact, this troubled me more than any of my other changes. I wanted to be able to feel the sun on my skin again. To feel the rain on my fingertips and soak my hair. To feel the wind caress and burn my face.

Accompanying my anxiety at Edward's imminent arrival were strange emotions. Emotions that I had not felt for nine months. Curiosity. Hope. Excitement. I found myself wanting to know what Edward was like. One thing that I left out when speaking to Rebecca was how curious I was about Edward's personality. I can remember Alice telling me about him from time to time, mostly when I would start fiddling around with the old piano we kept in the living room. It was there because of me and mostly because of nostalgia. I didn't play very well, even when I decided to play. Mostly it reminded me of my mother. She wasn't very good either, but she was better than me and loved to play. I used to play it a lot just for the sake of playing. I haven't been able to listen to a piano in a while. I loved the piano – the sound, the tone, everything about the instrument. Apparently, Edward was a musical genius—a prodigy. Alice told me that when he played the piano it was like magic. I found myself wondering if this was true. I have always had a borderline-obsessive fascination with the piano and especially loved to watch a good pianist play. This odd affection had prompted me to beg my parents for piano lessons when I was nine. I continued with the lessons until I turned fifteen which was when I grew frustrated that I was not easily amazing at it. I still enjoyed playing, though, which explained the second-hand upright in the corner of the living room.

I was hopeful about Edward's arrival because Alice so clearly believed that he would be able to help me. I could not help but have that small flame of hope. This, I believed, was the first step to moving forward. I also found that it was difficult, if not impossible**,** to quell my growing excitement**, **which was most likely also due to Alice. My friend was nearly bursting with excitement at her brother's imminent arrival. I felt guilty about this, however, because Alice had not left my side for the past nine months. She hadn't seen her family because she was too worried about me. Yet, Alice's boundless enthusiasm rubbed off on me. I found that I was almost _happy. _At least, the closest thing to happy as I had been in nine months. It was an indescribable feeling.

"Bella? I'm coming in!" Alice chirped from outside the door. I nodded to myself as she opened the door and entered. She remained in the doorway, a wide grin on her face. "Edward's here. Do you want to meet him?"

I let myself think for a moment. This was my last chance to change my mind. I sighed and closed my eyes. That wasn't true at all. I had made my choice days ago. I nodded and stood so I could follow Alice into the living room with my notebook in hand.

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**_A/N: Wow... that chapter looks a lot shorter up here than on my computer or in my notebook... Anyway, please review! I'll put the next chapter up as soon as possible!_**


	3. I've Just Seen A Face

**_A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for the delay. I have to say that I"m pretty embarassed. I thought I had already put this chapter up which is why it's so late. THat's why I'm putting this chapter and the next up. I haven't decided if I want to put the fifth chapter up too, so you might want to leave a lovely review to try and convince me! You know, I'm not that hard to convince... (hint hint, nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean, know what I mean? I'll give whoever knows what that is referencing... my endless devotion! Hmm... doesn't sound very enticing, but oh well!_**

**_READ THIS!_**

**_Have I gotten your attention? Well, I have an important question for you guys. I want to put out another Twilight story but I have two that I'm currently working on (and no, I won't put out both; it will be entirely too difficult to update). So, the question is this: which one do you want? I'm going to attempt to put a poll up on my profile but if I can't get it to work, I'll just have the poll be in reviews for the next chapter. So when you're done reading this, go to my profile! And, if you happen to be curious about any original stories I'm writing, check out the links at the top. _**

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_**Chapter Three: Had It Been Another Day**_

_Had it been another day_

_I might have looked the other way_

_And I'd have never been aware_

_But as it is I'll dream of her tonight_

_Di di di di di di..._

_-- "I've Just Seen A Face"_

_**Edward**_

I shifted my weight from one leg to the other as I waited outside the door to Alice's apartment. I didn't knock, since Alice had forbidden me from doing such an act. I had simply sent my sister a text message telling her that I was here. After a few moments, the door flew open and I was greeted with my pixie-like elder sister. She smiled widely and I could not help but return it. She laughed in delight as I drew her into a tight hug. I had not realized just how much I had missed her until this moment.

"Miss me, Edward?" she teased, asking me with a laugh.

"It's been too long, Lissy," I said, adopting the name I had used for her when we were much, much younger and I had been unable to pronounce her name. I felt and heard her sigh as she returned the embrace.

"I missed you too," she whispered. She stepped backwards after a moment and pulled me into the apartment by the hand. "Make yourself at home. I'm going to get Bella."

I nodded and sat down on the couch, running my hand through my hair nervously. I looked up a few moments later to see Alice dancing into the room. Behind her was a woman with long brown hair and deep brown eyes that flitted around the room nervously. She saw me and stopped, her eyes widening. I could see the shock on her face and in her eyes and knew that she was shocked by how dissimilar Alice and I were. She wore comfortable-looking jeans and a baggy sweatshirt and could quite possibly be the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. This was more than a little disconcerting because I had always considered Catherine the most beautiful woman in the world.

Yet, Bella's beauty far surpassed Catherine's. Bella's beauty was a subtle one – she would not stop traffic, but I still found myself spellbound. She seemed to have a beauty that stemmed from inside her, which shone out from within her. This inner beauty seemed diminished, somehow. I felt inexplicably angry that someone had hurt her and taken away some of this beauty. I felt a trickle of unease at this feeling. I knew that if it had been any other day I would not have given Bella more than a second glance. For some unknown reason, this terrified me.

I pulled myself from my thoughts, noticing that my quiet ponderings had only lasted a few moments. I saw that Bella was still standing in the doorway with her eyes wide and fixed upon me. When I spoke, I made sure to keep my voice low and unthreatening.

"I know, I know; Alice and I look nothing alike." I laughed softly and found myself shocked. I had actually laughed. I had not truly laughed in a very long time. "It's nice to meet you, Bella." I watched, transfixed, as the corners of her mouth quirked upwards and she walked to the large armchair that was on the other side of the couch. It sat beside the end to the couch that Alice had chosen to sit on. After Bella had settled herself, she opened her small notebook and swiftly wrote something down. She ripped out the page and handed it to Alice. She glanced at it and handed it to me.

_"Hi, Edward. It's nice to meet you too. Sorry about all this, it's necessary."_ I read in her messy handwriting. I turned to her and smiled in what I hope was a reassuring way.

"It's okay. I understand." I told her. The corner of her mouth quirked upwards once more and she turned away to write more, handing the page to my sister when she was done.

"Bella, I can cook! You don't have to worry about that!" Alice exclaimed. I noticed that my sister seemed genuinely shocked that Bella had offered to cook. I could tell that it shocked her even if she was trying to hide it. I watched in fascination as Bella wrote again, mischief in her eyes. Alice read the note and I recognized the look of chagrin on her face. I had seen that face many a times when we were younger.

"What?" I asked, curious as to what Bella had said.

Alice huffed angrily and shoved me the note. It read, _"Fine, Alice, you can cook. I merely assumed that we wanted to leave the fire department out of this and have a place to live after dinner."_ I couldn't hold back the laugh at Bella's blatant sarcasm, apparent even if we could not hear her voice.

"Bella, we can order take-out. You don't have to worry about cooking." Annoyance was in Alice's voice but I could detect something else underneath. It sounded almost like Alice was scared and concerned of what might happen if Bella cooked. I did not understand this but watched as Bella wrote her response. She had begun writing as soon as my sister had uttered the phrase take-out. When she finished, she handed the page to Alice who laughed after she read it and handed it to me. "Fine, fine, cook to your heart's content."

I looked down at the note to see that it read, "_Take-out? Alice, you insult me! Why would we stoop so low as to order take-out when we are perfectly able (and willing) to cook? Besides, it's Edward's first night her, we can't give him take-out!"_ I chuckled to myself as Bella made her way to the kitchen. I found that I was staring after her, spellbound once more. When she disappeared from view, I turned back to see that Alice was grinning and had a mischievous look in her eye. A look I was quite familiar with and knew that nothing good came of it.

"What?" I asked, not quite sure if I wanted to know what was going on in my older sister's head.

"Is there any particular reason as to why you are ogling my best friend?" she tried to make her voice sound stern but she could not wipe the smile from her face or erase the delight from her eyes.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said, refusing to meet her eye. I stood and began to peruse the photographs that lined the wall. They consisted mostly of three young women: Alice, Bella, and a blonde that I assumed was Rosalie. I was surprised to see that Bella looked different. I had not realized how haunted she looked until I saw her as she had been. I had not noticed how pained her eyes seemed until I saw the radiance and joy that had been in them before. I had not realized how thin she was until I saw how full her figure had been before. The difference was startling and alarming.

Alice could see my train of thought and spoke in a soft and subdued voice was not like my sister in the slightest. "She's really changed, huh? You can tell just by looking at a picture." I could hear the sadness in her voice. I was not used to it. Alice was not, generally speaking, sad very often. "I was going to have you come for New Year's before this happened. I hoped that Bella would be able to help you. Then I got the call from the hospital – I was listed as an emergency number. When they told me what happened... I was beyond terrified, Edward. Like I told you on the phone, Bella means as much to me as you do and I thought I had lost her. I didn't feel any better when I saw her, either. It was... horrible. She was bruised from head to toe and covered in bandages. She couldn't speak and couldn't write because her hands were hurt too badly. I... I was afraid that I had lost both of you. The two people I loved most in my life were hurting and I couldn't do anything to help them." she turned her gaze from the pictures to me and I could see that her hazel eyes were bright with tears. "I'm glad you came, Edward. You're already helping each other."

I was confused. I had only been her for ten minutes at the most, how was it possible that I had already helped Bella heal? I knew that something was happening to me, but I was not sure if it was that I was healing. "How so?" I asked, confusion clear in my voice.

Alice smiled up at me. "It's hard to tell for sure with Bella, but she's happy. I haven't seen her so close to smiling in a long time. She hasn't offered to cook in a while, either. Last time she tried she almost had a nervous breakdown." She paused and when she spoke her voice was reserved once more. "She was cooking when her father answered the door."

I didn't know how to respond to this. It made me so angry to think about how she was hurt. I also felt a strange emotion. It was not pity, exactly. It was more like sympathy. I waited a moment before speaking. "And how has she helped me already?"

Alice's smile was wide and blinding. "Tell me, little brother, when was the last time you didn't have to force yourself to smile or laugh?"

I opened my mouth to answer but closed it quickly. I knew the answer and so did she. I turned to look at the pictures once more to avoid more conversation that would lead to embarrassing directions. One picture in particular stood out to me. It depicted Alice and a fairly good-looking blond.

"Is this the infamous Jasper I've heard so much about?" Alice had told me about Jasper two years ago when she met him. Since I knew Alice so well, it didn't surprise me when she told me that upon meeting her soul mate, she had informed him they were meant to be. I could see it play out in my head.

Alice and Bella and Rosalie would be enjoying themselves at a party and Alice would see the blond over by the bar. She would dance over to him, and he would have a look of shock on his face as my pixie-like sister told him that he had kept her waiting. I could see how he would smile at how confident and beautiful Alice was. Then he would apologize for keeping her waiting. She would tell him that they would fall in love and get married one day.

"Yes, that's Jasper." I looked down to see Alice smiling; her hazel eyes alight with love. I don't think I ever really understood that my sister was really in love. I always assumed it was one of her rash decisions. Now I could see that Alice really loved this Jasper. I hoped that he was a good man. Alice deserved the best.

I started when Alice abruptly turned. I followed her gaze to see that Bella was standing in the doorway.

"Dinner ready, Bella?" Alice asked with a smile. Bella nodded and left the room once more. Alice smiled and pranced from the room. I grinned and followed the both of them.

--

I was shocked and pleased to find that Bella's favourite movie was Romeo and Juliet. I was even more pleased to find that it was the original version, not one of the remakes. After dinner, Alice said that they would watch a movie in the typical Alice tone that showed that there was no room for argument.

Yet, Alice was now curled up on the couch beside me sleeping. Bella was in the chair that she had occupied earlier. I found that my mind was wandering from the movie that I had already seen a dozen times. Bella astounded me. She had been through so very much, yet she had not given up. She tried her hardest to live and survive despite her fears and memories. It was much more than I could say for myself. She had undergone a trauma far worse than I had, yet she was surviving better than me. Vaguely, my mind drifted to Catherine. I felt… well, I felt guilty for being here. It was obvious that I was attracted to Bella. I could see that. Was I betraying Catherine by wanting to be with someone else? I started out of my thoughts when something hit the side of my head. I looked down to see a paper airplane. I looked up at Bella to see that the corners of her mouth were twitching upwards. She nodded to the paper and mimed opening it. I quirked my head to the side slightly and opened the note.

_"Why do you look so sad?"_ I couldn't help but think how odd it was that Bella's handwriting was messy and untidy. It was a paradox.

I looked up to see that her brown eyes bore into mine piercingly, and said, "I let my mind wander to things that are better to not think of."

She gazed at me for a moment before writing a response. She ripped the page out and folded the paper a few times before flicking it to me as if it were just a paper football. I was struck by how odd it was that we were having a conversation by throwing a piece of paper across the room. I caught the note and unfolded it.

_"Would it be rude of me to ask why you're in the city?"_ I read the question and had to hide my grin as I looked at her familiarly untidy scrawl.

"No, it wouldn't be. I needed a change. I couldn't stay in Chicago anymore. It was too hard. There were too many memories, " I said softly.

I turned to see that she was gazing at me once more. I found that I had the strangest desire to erase the pained and haunted look from Bella's eyes. I wanted to see her as happy as she had been before. I wanted to see her as carefree as how I had seen her in the picture on the wall. I felt angry at myself. Why was I having all of these inexplicable and unwanted desires? The last thing that I was capable of doing at the moment was to help someone else with their problems. I had enough of my own that I couldn't deal with.

As I was lost in thought, Bella wrote her response and tossed it to me. When I unfolded it I was filled with shock at what she had written, at what she had been able to see. _"You lost someone. Someone you loved."_

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "How do you know that?" I winced inwardly at how my voice cracked.

_"The look in your eyes,"_ she wrote. _"As clichéd as it may sound, it's the same look that I see when I look in a mirror."_ I could feel the sadness and pain in her words. I was also surprised to find that as I read her words, I could almost hear what I imagined her voice to sound like saying them.

"How do you manage?" I asked softly. "How do you go through the day? You've been through so much and been hurt so badly. How do you manage to survive?" I knew that I was prying, that I had no right to ask such personal questions to someone that I did not know. Yet, I needed to know. I needed to know how she managed to survive like she did.

It took her a few minutes to write her response and when she had finished, it filled nearly half of the page. _"Rose and Alice are a big help. If it weren't for them… there's no way I'd be where I am now. They protect me from myself; from the stimuli that set me off. They try and keep things that will remind me of that day at a minimum. I just… I take it minute by minute, second by second. I have a therapist who comes three times a week. It helps, to talk about it. Alice and Rosalie walk on eggshells around the subject. They think that it will set me off and make it worse if they try to talk to me about it. They're wrong, though. Talking about it, remembering it isn't the bad part. Yes, it hurts to remember but I know that it's over. The flashbacks are the problem. When I have a flashback it's like it's happening all over again. I don't know that it's over or that it has already happened. It's like the first time all over again. The dreams are almost as bad. It isn't exactly like the flashbacks, but it's close enough. It's more like I'm trapped in my memories when I dream. I don't really understand why you seem to think that I survive my days better than you do. At least you can go outside – at least you can be around people. I hate being cooped up in here. I… I haven't seen the sun – really seen the sun in ten months."_

When I looked up, Bella was staring at the screen, watching as Romeo lamented over Juliet. "Bella? What… what exactly happened to you?"

I watched her face carefully as she wrote her response. It was meticulously arranged into a careful mask of indifference. I opened the paper that she threw at me hesitantly, unsure of whether or not I really wanted to know the answer or not.

_"I was in the kitchen when he came. My dad answered the door. Charlie was a police chief so he knew something was wrong. It didn't help much, though… We lived in a really small town. The most he ever did that could be considered police work was deal with rowdy teenagers or give speeding tickets. The man pulled a gun and Charlie had no choice. All I remember at first is fear. He came behind me and knocked me out. When I woke up it was dark and my hands and feet were taped together. He hurt my dad really badly. I'm not sure… I don't think that he was still alive when I woke up. My mom was hurt too. I could hear her whimpering. I'm not sure how, but somehow he could see us, even though it was completely and utterly dark. When I woke up… he moved on to me. I remember that he tried to strangle me more than once. The doctors said that he damaged my vocal chords and that sooner or later they should repair themselves. What he did to me… most of that is a blur. It all blends and fades together. I can't really remember what he specifically did to me. All I remember is pain. What I remember most vividly is after he left. It was like… like being in your own personal hell. I didn't know if my parents were alive or dead. I didn't know if I was alive or dead. I remember that for hours I believed that I was dead and that I was already in hell. I didn't have anything but my thoughts. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, I couldn't speak. There was nothing to taste and I felt numb all over so I couldn't feel anything but pain. It was like a nightmare that you can't wake up from. When… at night, I'm afraid that it will happen again. I'm afraid that I'll find myself back in the basement and that I won't be found a second time. I can't stand the dark. If there isn't any light, it doesn't matter where I am – I'm back in that basement again."_

I finished reading Bella's account of her ordeal and I had an insuppressible urge to tell her about Catherine. I wanted to trust in Bella as she had trusted me. If she could recount to me the worst day of her life, could I not give her the same courtesy? I knew that it would be difficult, for I had not spoken of Catherine since her funeral. I had refused. Yet, I wanted Bella to know. I wanted her to know why I was the way I was.

"Catherine and I knew each other since we were born. She would always tease me because she was two days older than me. We started dating our senior year of high school. We stayed together during college even though we were many miles and many hours apart. Usually, I would drive to her school on the weekends. Thirteen months ago… it was our last semester. I had a test on Saturday and couldn't come down, so she came to me. Or... tried to come to me. She got caught in a snowstorm. She lost control of her car." My voice was even softer than I had intended it to be and I wondered if she had even heard me. When I looked up, however, I had my answer: Bella was writing.

_"You blame yourself for what happened,"_ she stated. _"It isn't your fault, though. She cared about you and wanted to see you. It was her choice to drive and I doubt she would be happy to see you blaming yourself for her death. You should try to live and move on for her. You asked me earlier how I get through my days. Well… it helps to know that Charlie and Renee would be upset if they saw me like this. It gives me some… motivation. It doesn't help much, but it is enough."_

I read this and knew, logically, that she was right. Yet, I still could not convince myself that this was the truth. And even if I could, I couldn't convince myself to actually take the step to move on. When I looked up at Bella, she was watching the last of the credits roll across the screen. She glanced over at me and looked at Alice before looking back at me. I understood and leaned over to wake my sister. She woke up slowly and blinked her eyes tiredly.

It was another ten minutes before I was in Alice's room getting ready to sleep. My sister's apartment had no guest room; here were only Alice's, Bella's, and Rosalie's rooms. Alice had told me that I could sleep in her room and she would sleep in Rosalie's. Alice had told me that both Rosalie and Jasper were visiting their parents for the week. I sat on the edge of Alice's bed and contemplated things quietly. I had many things to think over.

For one, I knew that I was captivated by Bella. I was enthralled – no, entranced with a woman I barely knew. Had it been any other day, I probably would not have given Isabella Swan a second glance. This thought frightened me for many reasons. For one, I wanted to know Bella. I truly did. I wanted to know everything about her, no matter how miniscule and insignificant a detail it may be. Second, I was attracted to her. I knew that I wanted to be with Bella. I was not quite sure how much of a relationship I wanted with her, but I was too spellbound to not want to be with her. Third, I was afraid of moving on and acting on these inexplicable feelings for Bella. I did not want to forget Catherine. I did not want to dishonor her memory. Thinking of Bella pushed Catherine to the back of my mind. This scared me beyond anything else.

Another problem I had was the dilemma of whether or not I should take Bella's advice and try to move on. Try to move on for Catherine. I wasn't sure if I was capable of doing this. Could I really live my life as if I had never lost her? She was my best friend, my first love. Could I really forget her so easily? Yet, did moving on and forgetting have to go hand in hand? If I moved on and tried to live my life, would I forget Catherine? Or would her loss simply become more bearable? I wished that I could find the answers, but I couldn't. They were a mystery to me.

Yet, I did know one thing: I wanted to know more about Bella Swan, no matter what the consequences were.

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**_A/N: Review, review, review! I'm a sucker for reviews!_**


	4. Learn How To Be You In Time

_**A/N: Yeah... I really don't have anything to say. Go to the author's note in the last chapter for info. Poll is up (I figured it out! Yay!) so go vote please!

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Chapter Four: Learn How To Be You In Time

_There's nothing you can make that can't be made,_

_No one you can save that can't be saved,_

_Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time,_

_It's easy._

_-- "All You Need Is Love"_

_**Bella**_

Many things had shocked me since Edward's arrival. Seeing him had not triggered any flashbacks. I was able to hear him speak without hearing his voice. I didn't think it was possible for Edward's voice to trigger a flashback. His voice was as different from his as humanly possible. Edward's voice was like music in and of itself. I had dreamed of nothing last night. I had been sure that Edward's arrival would bring the nightmares. Yet, last night I had slept more peacefully than I had in months. I was also surprised that Edward and Alice looked nothing alike and that I was attracted to Edward. I had not felt attraction for a man for at least ten months. Not even for celebrities or people on television. I found myself transfixed when his eyes met mine. I had never actually met someone who had eyes so green before. I had felt scared and shocked that I had wanted to touch his bronze coloured hair that I found messy in an endearing way. It was the oddest desire, but I wanted to know what his hair felt like. The best part was that I felt good when I was around Edward. He looked at me differently from other people. He didn't look at me like I was an object of pity. He looked at me like I was a person.

I pulled myself from my thoughts reluctantly to leave the warm comfort of my bed. I dragged myself to the shower and let the steaming water relax my tense muscles. I had not meant to take a long shower but once I was under the heated water of a shower, I couldn't rush anything. Twenty minutes later, I was pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I also pulled on a jacket since the apartment was chilly. I left my bedroom and made my way to the kitchen. I was happy that I could bring myself to cook again. I had missed being able to be in the kitchen.

I was surprised, however, when I found that the kitchen was already occupied. Edward was already cooking. I sat down at the counter and watched as he moved in front of the stove, looking completely comfortable. Here was yet another way that Edward was different from Alice. Alice was incapable of being in the kitchen without burning something. It didn't even matter if she wasn't even using the stove or oven – something would still end up burning. Edward, on the other hand, looked completely at home in the kitchen.

I was broken from my observations when Edward aught sight of me. "Good morning, Bella." he greeted quietly. I was a bit disconcerted by the soft smile on his face.

_"Morning,"_ I wrote swiftly. _"You're cooking?"_ I slid the entire notebook over to him and he laughed before sliding it back to me.

"You've seen Alice cook, then? Don't worry. I am a very capable chef. I can get by. A moment later, he had scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast on a plate and slid it in front of me. I blinked in surprise as he turned back to the stove and made a plate for himself. With a start, I remembered Charlie's poor excuse for cooking as I was about to take a bite. I swallowed the lump in my throat and began to eat. I was surprised at how good the meal tasted. The look on my face must have been amusing for Edward laughed and I noticed that he was sitting much closer than he had the night before. He was sitting on the other side of the counter and a little to the side so that he was not directly across from me. I was shocked to find that his lose proximity did not bother me as I was sure that it should.

It felt right. I wanted to be closer.

This strange and inexplicable desire scared me. I cursed the fact that my face always gave me away when Edward asked, "Are you okay?"

I nodded and turned my gaze away from his eyes – I did not want to be hypnotized by his eyes. I ate my breakfast, still marveling at its quality. When I looked up again, Edward was gazing at me. I raised my right and to my lips, my fingertips brushing them, and moved it down in front of me. I mouthed 'thank you' as I made this action.

He looked at me inquisitively. "You know sign language?"

I made a small space with my fingers – the universal sign for 'a little.' I picked up my notebook and explained, trying to detach myself from my memories as I wrote. My mom was a bit eccentric. She would take up a project and never finish it. When I was eight, she decided to learn sign language. I learned too before she decided that it was too much work. Some of the simpler signs stuck with me, such as the sign for thank you and you're welcome. Even before, when I could speak, I would always do the sign also."

Edward read the note and nodded absentmindedly. "What's the sign for 'you're welcome'?"

I smiled and did an almost identical sign to the previous one. The only difference was that I used only my pointer finger to my lips. Edward smiled and did the same. I looked into his eyes as he smiled softly at me and felt as if he was holding me captive. His eyes were so beautiful, he was beautiful, and I could not look away. Fear filled me as I realized how much I already cared for Edward. Well… that wasn't necessarily true. What scared me was the potential of how much I could care for him. It was terrifying because I knew that there was no possible way that I could have a relationship with Edward. I was broken. It did not matter that I was on the mend; the evidence of my brokenness would always be visible. Even when I was able to be myself again, if I could be myself again, the scars would still be there. I would e like a piece of china that was broken and put back together; I would be whole but the cracks would always be there. In all honesty, however, I did not believe I would ever be myself again. Life felt so strange for me. For the past ten months I felt as if I had been a stranger to myself. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't know the person who looked back at me.

"Bella? Are you okay?" I blinked in shock as Edward broke my train of thoughts. I nodded absentmindedly, trying to push away my less-than-savory thoughts. "What's wrong?" I looked up at Edward and debated over whether I should tell him or not. I had already told him so much; could I really trust him with more than just the tale of what happened to me? He had trusted me enough to tell me about Catherine. He hadn't given me any reason not to trust him.

_"I sometimes wonder if my life will always be this way. If I'll always be stuck in this state of mind, feeling like a stranger to myself. I can't help but think that I'm never going to be myself again. I feel like… I feel like I'm trapped and have to just sit by and watch as everyone else passes me by." _

After Edward read my thoughts, it was silent for many moments. I busied myself by finished the food that was now lukewarm. "Bella…" Edward began quietly. "You shouldn't worry. It may take time, but I can tell that you'll get better."

_"How do you know? Are you yourself again?" _I wrote swiftly and messily.

"I know because you're stronger than I am, Bella." He spoke softly. I laughed silently, knowing this could not possibly be true no matter what he said. "I'm telling you the truth, Bella. I haven't tried to be myself again. I haven't tried to get better. I've more or less let myself waste away for thirteen months. You have done the complete opposite. You've tried harder than I have on my best day. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

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**_A/N: Yeah, I know it's short but it's the second chapter that you've gotten in the span of ten minutes. I think you'll survive. If you are desperate for the next chapter, try and convince me in a review!_**


	5. Take These Broken Wings and Learn to Fly

_**Here it is! Uh... that's really all I have to say.

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Chapter Five: Take These Broken Wings and Learn to Fly

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night,_

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly,_

_All your life, _

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise._

_-- "Blackbird"_

_**Edward**_

I have been in Alice's and Bella's apartment for four days now. In these four days, I have noticed something disconcerting: I have been moving on against my will. Despite everything, I was finally moving on. Yesterday, I had realized that moving on did not mean forgetting. I had always assumed that by moving on I would feel guilty and it would be like losing Catherine all over again. I was wrong. I didn't feel guilty – I felt free. I no longer felt as if I had to despair every minute of the day. Yes, I still felt grief and sadness for losing Catherine, but I no longer had to wallow in my sorrow.

I was positive that Bella was the reason behind my newfound sense of freedom. Whenever I was with her, I felt like a different person. I felt more like I was myself. I understood what Bella meant when she said that she felt like a stranger to herself. It was how I have felt every day for the past thirteen months. When I was with Bella, I felt like I knew myself again. What was stranger still was how even though I felt more like myself… I didn't. I couldn't comprehend my own emotions. I didn't feel the same as how I had felt before. I felt more different than I have ever felt before. I had always assumed that when I got better, if I got better, I would simply go back to how life was before Catherine was gone. I would still be different because she would no longer be there, but I would essentially be the same. I was wrong once more. This was nothing like anything I had ever experience before. I couldn't be sure, but it almost felt… better than before.

So this was my state of mind when I sat down at the piano in the corner of the living room. I wasn't quite sure why it was here; as far as I knew, none of the three women living here knew how to play a piano. I pushed these thoughts aside, however, and was just grateful that it was here. It was a second-hand upright, but it was still a piano. I began to play and didn't even realize what I was playing until halfway through it. It was one of the first songs I had ever composed and was still close to my heart. The world around me faded away as I let myself get lost in the music as the notes swelled around me. I closed my eyes and let my hands move over the keys familiarly. The song was hard to describe with words. It did not really fit into any category that was usually used to describe music. It was both light-hearted and reserved, descriptive and hazy. I realized vaguely that it had been one of Catherine's favorites even though I hadn't played for her often. I had always felt uncomfortable when anyone but Alice or my mother, Esme, listened while I played.

I sighed softly to myself in satisfaction as I finished the song with a strong, yet soft chord. I heard soft footsteps behind me and turned to see Bella standing near the doorway. Her eyes were filled with tears and I thought that I could see what looked like awe on her face. It was an indescribable feeling to be the object of her gaze. I was hypnotized; I could not look away.

--

_**Bella**_

When I woke, all was silent. I sighed. Nightmares had descended upon me once more during the night. The nightmares were different, though. When I had begun to relive that night, when he had begun to cut my legs free, a light shone through the darkness. I still could not see anything – all I could see was light. The light had stopped the nightmare from going any further and I had awoken when light had filled every corner of my room.

For a few minutes I simply laid where I was, contemplating this new development. Ever since Edward arrived, the nightmares had gradually been driven back. The first night I had dreamt of nothing and every night following the dreams had lessened in severity. I was confused beyond all reason. Was Edward the reason behind this? Was he the reason that my nightmares were fading? Chronologically, it would make sense but logically… I barely knew him. Despite this, I was as comfortable with Edward as I was with Alice or Rosalie.

Suddenly, my thoughts were broken when I heard music flowing from the living room. I waited for a moment; all of my muscles were tense. Nothing happened. I had expected something – something painful, but nothing came. No flashbacks or horrid visions of my mother when she was no longer my mother. I had tried to listen to music before but it was too painful for me. It would either remind me too much of my parents or I would have a flashback. I wasn't sure why music had triggered flashbacks. There hadn't been any music playing that night.

I pushed away the heavy blankets and picked up my notebook as I made my way to the living room. I saw that Edward was sitting at the piano, his hands flitting over the keys of ivory and ebony. I swallowed the lump in my throat as he created the indescribable music that flowed through the room. I felt tears prick my eyes as the music resonated through my entire being. I closed my eyes and let the music become a part of me. It moved around me and I felt as if I were a part of it. I was shocked to find that I was happy. I couldn't understand it. I had not truly felt happy for ten months. Yet, now I felt happy.

When Edward ended the song, I felt despair and hopelessness crash over me once more. I realized that when Edward had been playing, I had been free from reality. Now it settled back on me. I moved forward, wanting to hear more, needing to hear more. When he was playing I felt like myself again. For a few minutes, I had finally been someone that I knew again. Edward turned as I moved and I saw that his eyes were nervous. Could he possibly be nervous about what I thought about the song? Could he be nervous about that? I couldn't see how; surely he had to know how truly amazing he was. I moved forward slowly, my eyes never leaving Edward's.

"Morning," he whispered. I nodded and mouthed the greeting back to him. Reluctantly, I tore my gaze away from his to write my words in my notebook.

_"That was beautiful, Edward. You… You're amazing. Did you write that?"_ I handed him the book and his emerald eyes flitted over the page before he looked up at me.

"Thank you, and yes, I did write that. It was one of the first songs I composed." I felt awe at the fact that he composed his own music. How many people did you meet that could write an actual song that was so incredible, so far beyond any words?

_"Will you play me something?"_ After Edward read it, he smiled softly.

"What would you like me to play?" he asked me, his green eyes dancing. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled, signaling that I did not care. He grinned and turned to face the piano once more. His hands began to glide over the keys. This music was easier to describe because I could identify with it easily. It started out softly and sweetly. It was like how my life had been before ten months ago: carefree, content. It effortlessly flowed into deeper and more melancholy sounding notes. The music was more urgent; desperate, somehow. It seemed to portray exactly how I had felt every second of every day for the past ten months. I was shocked that despite the fact that I was reminded of those feelings, I still had that feeling of knowing exactly who I was. How was it possible that the piano could succeed what ten months of therapy could not? The melancholy part of the song soon transformed once more. It was almost like the beginning; I could detect very similar notes, but it was more urgent than before. The sadness had stayed with it. A few seconds later, it transformed once more to a light hearted section that was similar to the beginning. Would I be able to get to that point? At the moment, wrapped up in the song, I believed that I could. I felt… free. Tears rolled down my cheeks and did not bother to wipe them away. The song ended softly and when it was over, Edward looked up at me. I could see the brief look of serenity on his face before concern crossed his features.

"Are you okay? Bella, what's wrong?" I could hear the distress in his voice.

I nodded and began to write, blinking back more tears. _"I'm fine. I just… I felt like myself again. I didn't feel like a stranger anymore. Thank you, Edward. Thank you so much."_

After he read the note, he looked up at me with an odd gleam in his eye. I could not place the look. "You inspired that song," he said softly. "I… I thought that it probably was how you've felt for the past few months." I realized what the look was: care. Every note he had played had been for _me_. It was indescribably wonderful and terrifying all at once.

Before I had a chance to respond, which probably would not have happened anyway, I hear Alice behind me. "That was beautiful, Edward!" she exclaimed, her hazel eyes shining with love and tears. "Will you play more?" I watched as Edward grinned and turned back to the piano.

"Sure, Alice, I'll play your piece." I felt a smile sneak onto my face as my pixie-like friend jumped in place excitedly.

I could immediately see why Alice inspired this piece. It started off softly before leaping into a joyous and quick span of notes. Edward's hands never lingered on a key for long. The piece was just… Alice. I felt a wide smile spread across my face as I realized what Edward's music did for me. It did what nothing else could do. Words were nothing compared to this.

His music gave me hope.

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**_All three songs can be located on YouTube. Kyle Landry (username: kylelandry) is the pianist and composer. The first song is _Land to Remember_. The second is _Feelings of Childhood_ (originally known as _Old School_). The last one is _Lost Depression_. Links will be available on my profile. Please review! Please? And if you like the story, then tell others to read it please! I'm dying for feedback!_**


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